.Monday, April 26, 2010 ' 6:51 AM Y
Last two weeks I went to visit my grandfather's grave. I bought him a red chrysanthemun flowers, and a hand made card! Iam so proud of it :)
I miss him a lot. I broke down when I saw his photo, I really wanna cry out loudly, cuz I really miss him a lot. But I didn't want my boyfriend to see that side of me... Or any other people to. Cuz they would just console me. I dreamt of my grandfather twice..I don't know what it means but I feel he's always beside me. I dreamt I took a bus and somehow ended up at some place in msia and all around are china men and banglars, I looked around frantically for someone who could lead me back to singapore.. Then out of sudden, I turned and saw my grandfather. I was crying in my dream and also really crying, subconciously I know I was crying and I didn't want to wake up. I just kept saying to my grandfather don't go come and see me and I will be happy. I am really upset. I have to keep avoiding. I want to see his photo so badly but I just don't want to see I'm afraid I will be reminded of everything.. I wish he would come into my dream again.
Bought vouchers for hair cut at quite low price, hope to cut and dye my hair, hopefully they give me the brown I want! :)
Month of May I am going to be broke very fast. My boss birthday end of April. Labour day my friend's birthday. Middle month 4 more friends birthday!!! Half of my pay gone! And I want a bag so much, but can't buy yet! :( loving that classic chanel bag. But haha, very expensive! Probably next few years then can afford to spend on it! Don't know what brand of bag to get? Gucci, no designs I like. Coach, don't really like a lot, only their wristlets perhaps. Burberry, no designs too. The rest are either too expensive or what! sigh! but I know I need a bigger bag! I have so much junk in my bag! I bought pantyliners and they came in a box like a drawer. So cute and its cheaper! And I also bought a metal box which contain 5 pads! I will bring it whenever I have my period! :) means more space needed for my bag! I hate to carry heavy bags but I love to dump whatever into the bag. Haha.
I need more cash and I hope june will end soon! :) friday dinner with my girl for her birthday. And hopefully Iron Man on that friday night!! Can't wait!! ;)
At times I feel very stressful as I have quite some obligations to fulfil. I need u to share the load..I can't carry this heavy load all by myself. I need some security from u.I'm not a superwoman but I'm trying to be these while. I hope we can do this together...
Goodnight! Bed time!